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xv apr mmxxiv

it annoys me that so many webcomic/toon creators aspire to have their works printed into books because i feel that they are lacking vision--you are writing a *WEB*comic, that means you can advantage of the unique features of webpages. i've never read homestuck, but from what i can tell it truly captures the concept of a web-based-comic. similarly there's that jumpscare webtoon that combines scrolling and music to really make use of the online format. even ava's demon with its custom pages and animations that seamlessly blend the website in the worldbuilding and narrative exemplifies this well--so it's a damn shame that the author has heen so focused on publishing a physical book, which loses much of the magic that makes ava's demon the webcomic special. another small example is a better place which makes use of hyper and metatext to add a unique "time looping" element later in the story that you just CAN'T capture in print. i don't know if it's a shame or testament to its groundbreaking nature that homestuck truly is the only webcomic that i feel understands the coolness of *WEBCOMICS*

xv apr mmxxiv

supereyepatchwolf annoys me so much with his try-hard dramatic video essay style and "oh look how weird i am?!" quirkiness but he does cover interesting topics like this one. just wish he was less fucking annoying

xiv apr mmxxiv

oooh there's drama in the tax filing office! i'm listening to the employee argue with a client over allegedly not being told something. now you'd think the customer is being a "karen" but in actuality i get her frustration over waiting and increase in filing costs. the client doesn't want the employee to call her "my friend" and the employee's like not listening. i'm not going to take any sides but it's a fascinating exercise in unreliable clients or bad customer service. actually the more i listen the more i'm on the client's side because it sounds almost like she's being gaslit and the employees just admitted to lying to her; from what it sounds like, there's a person she filed with who didn't give her a proper quote when she thought everything was finished and didn't update her on time. wild. damn, she keeps asking a yes or no question and the employees keep talking in circles: JUST ANSWER HER QUESTION YES OR NO?? damn, i feel bad for her

xiv apr mmxxiv

the foreshadowing to arya's blindness in braavos is portrayed much better in the book... meaning that it's actually *portrayed* in the book

#asoiaf

xiii apr mmxxiv

when you're reading a fanfic with court proceedings and you're like "that wouldn't happen in real life like at all" it just breaks my suspension of disbelief

xii apr mmxxiv

hahahaha my anxiety is the worst it's been in months, i hate this fucken thing i volunteered for

xii apr mmxxiv

two out of [REDACTED] interviews done but I STILL HAVE TO ATTEND 3 MORE LUNCHES I HATE THIS MY ANXIETY HATES THIS.
me outside: (・・;
me inside: (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

xi apr mmxxiv

so book!ned at least understands that there *is* a "game of thrones" being played but he's almost more naive than show!ned about the fact that robert would easily win against tywin and that they could "take down" the icnest twins,,, like,,,, that's a whole lotta dreaming you're doing there my guy. similarly, book!robert is a whole lot smarter than the bumbling oaf the show made him out to be--he's still an oaf but at least he seems self aware about what joffrey is unlike in the show where i don't ever recall him even *talking* about joffrey to ned

#asoiaf

ix apr mmxxiv

WHY do people keep picking me for table reads!! what about me screams "i'm a good actor" or "i like reading your scripts out loud"

ix apr mmxxiv

one of these days everyone's gonna realize that the "deep meaningful" things i say are just bullshit surface level ramblings to obfuscate that i have nothing to add~!

ix apr mmxxiv

work lunch are so awkward i hate this AND I HAVE TO DO THIS THREE MORE TIMES :screeech:

ix apr mmxxiv

i've been doing the midsommar breathing thing after climbing stairs or when i get nervous and it's been surprisingly helpful... mayhaps those cultists were onto something...

vii apr mmxxiv

working on this [REDACTED] collaboratively is going to kill me... none of my group members can be decisive and i hate to be the one to be like *do this* *do that* while we're dithering around in circles about this FUCKING SCRIPT. like oh my fuck, just write--you don't always need our input on every line my goodness

iv apr mmxxiv

book!samwell is a lot more, well, *pathetic* than the show amde him out to be... like, in retrospect, why again was he so despised in the show in his initial introduction aside from being fat?? if he was portrayed more like the book, his cowardliness and the pathetic nature others CLAIM he has would make more sense... hmmmm

#asoiaf

iii apr mmxxiv

now that i've seen a review for one of my games i'm going to lose my mind,,, HOW DO I BLOCK THE REVIEW AND ANALYTICS PAGE ON ITCHIO FUCK ME

xxxi mar mmxxiv

just straight up forgot my pixel page for two weeks onL i need to set a daily alarm or sum

xxxi mar mmxxiv

i'm such a control freak when it comes to group projects. it's grating on me that i cannot do this one specific part of the project alone and that i might not get to because i have this fear that the member doing it won't make it look good (SHE WON'T BC SHE DOESN'T KNOW CSS!!) and then we'll submit something ugly because they didn't let me do the coding on my OWNNNNNN

xxviii mar mmxxiv

RENLY WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A YOUNGER ROBERT???!?!! unbelievable, the game of thrones show gets even WORSE. look at what we could've had...

#asoiaf

xxviii mar mmxxiv

the narrator of the agot audiobook is so... bad... he does these horrible annoying voices for the characters that great on the ears (especially for the girls) and mispronounces everything. like, this man calls seriously "pee-ter" baelish "peh-tire" baelish!!! and his voice for varys makes me want to strangle him: PLEASE SHUT UP

#asoiaf

xxvii mar mmxxiv

i tweaked my shoulders/upper back and now i'm in so much pain. i can barely move my head, just *looking* down hurts, i've taken so much pain killers...
EDIT: i've booked a chiropractor + physiotherapy appt. because i straight canNOT handle this anymore,,, i've got to have tweaked or sprained or ruiend someTHING back there

xxvi mar mmxxiv

listening to how renly baratheon is described in agot makes me even more angry about the show because WHAT THE FUCK!!! we could've had a long haired gay knight instead of the wimpy coward of show!renly. flames on the side of my face

#asoiaf

xxiv mar mmxxiv

catelyn stark is a smart and beautiful woman and i need people to step all the way off her back—like,,, how are you gonna like CERSEI but hate my girl cat??? make it make sense and stop being misogynistic

#asoiaf

xxiv mar mmxxiv

yknow someone could actually do a very interesting reading of cersei lannister through the lens of trans self-hatred. i can't wait explain it too well but there's something about the way she wishes she was born a boy, is obsessed with jaime, and hates her "womanly wiles" while making full use of them for manipulation—she's so toxic trans-coded, i CANNOT be the only one who sees this

#asoiaf

xxiv mar mmxxiv

finally finished writing this damn script,,, my ass hurts. in other news: i'm rewatching game of thrones while listening to the audiobookd and spotting all the clever bits in the first season... oh how far we fell...

xxiii mar mmxxiv

why do i always feels so hungry after i've eaten??? my stomach is eating itself,,, i'm always so hungry

xix mar mmxxiv

weirdest dream yet: i was in a combination of delicious in dungeon (which I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER WATCHED) and black clover. it began with a bunch of fantasy squads liked up outside a dungeon, with a tiny chef wearing orange already cooking something (meat maybe?) as we waited, and the black bulls as one of the squads. i was asta and i was doing push ups. the next thing i remember, the teams all started running for the dungeon, the black bulls were last, but i was left behind because i was performing one handed push ups for a bunch of townspeople. i wasn't able to get to 100 or 1000 pushups and fell one short as people were cheering me on. when i stood up another townsperson came over and knelt down to try their hand at the challenge. that's when one of my black bull teammates, magna swing came storming up to bring me into the dungeon. he dragged me over and inside the dungeon resembled my high school. i think he disappeared as soon as we got inside because i recall i was no longer asta as i was climbing some stairs to the second floor. at this point i came across a window through which i saw one of my current classmates running. we locked eyes, she ran to the left and i ran after her through the empty school. she hid just inside the doorway of a bathroom as we were trying tag each other. we tagged each other at the same time and agreed that meant we both got the point. she ran to the left into a part of the school that never existed irl, and i ran back to the hall with the window. we (the squads) were playing tag because the team with the most points got to have a dress rehearsal for some play we were all performing... idk, it all made more sense in the dream i think

#dreams

xviii mar mmxxiv

i am horrible at replying to messages and emails to the point that it's embarrassing to even apologize for my tardiness now... i got accepted for an amazing mentorship program and i GHOSTED MY FUCKING MENTOR,,,, i have the worst priorities and i need to do better because that could have been a fruitful experience but i fucked it up... just as i'm now fucking up replying to someone who wanted to work with me for nanoreno MORE THAN 3 WEEKS AGO oml how can i even face them all now????

xviii mar mmxxiv

oomfies... my back hurts... in other news: i've cleaned up this page a bit, so y'all aren't scrolling for ages, by archiving older posts at the bottom

xvii mar mmxxiv

had a dream where noel miller was an alchemist or something (i think???) kidnapped by an older couple. he was brought our from his captivity and shown some kind of artefact but told them that it was too big to open using some kind of special power. the couple looked at each other in shock or surprise or something. at this point i was half awake so the dream is pretty much gone, but i know there that a lot happened before this, including maybe when noel was captured. youtubers have never been in my dreams... that was so weird...

#dreams

xvii mar mmxxiv

watching a video on dear dumb diary, one of my favourite series as a kid, and being reminded of by obsession with the amazing days of abby hayes. EDIT: my obsession was *dork* diaries not dumb diaries but i still loved them both

xiv mar mmxxiv

i wrote a woman who used he/him prns in a story for class and i thought i made it very clear that HE was a WOMAN and i still got comments asking "huh??? thought this was a woman?? why 'he'?? is this now a man??" like be soooo ffr and stop thinking anyone in this story is cishet when the main character is literally a they/them

xii mar mmxxiv

"they make clowns so hot in anime"
— real quote from jacob drawfee
#quotes

x mar mmxxiv

not my vn game meant to be short for this gdamn workshop ending up EIGHTY FIVE FUCKING PAGES LONG WHEN IN WORD!!! IM SUCH AN OVERWRITER

#gamedev

vii mar mmxxiv

i got a valley sunrise before from zeki!!! NICE!!!

#palia

vi mar mmxxiv

making a vn, making a vn, do do do making a vn

#gamedev

iv mar mmxxiv

just got an email from my department's student reps, both of whom i've been in classes with and one of whom is in their first year of the program like me. i felt a little… annoyed/irritated/jealous that i wasn't asked/allowed/know how to be one. it's irrational bc i know i would NOT have the time to be a student rep, but it would've been nice to know that the opportunity what there…

iv mar mmxxiv

wow the people in my screenwriting class as so fucking talented

xxix feb mmxxiv

on GOD i actually hate this novel writing class, i'm losing my mind, it's all literary fiction and while the writing is good, it's like the prof thinks genre fiction can't teach anything good re: structure. i'm putting in the least amount of effort possible just to get this over with but the class is 2 FUCKING HOURS,,,, i wish i dropped out before the deadline

xxviii feb mmxxiv

robert eggers nosferatu movie coming soon?!!!?!!!!! YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW HYPE I AM I LOVE A24 MOVIES

xxi feb mmxxiv

rewatching the early seasons of the gbbo is like wading into a pool of constant royalist/empire praise. the constant praising of the bakery exploits of empire, or "it's so lovely that queen X married her cousin Y for love", or oh let's mention but not analyse a political cartoon from the 1800s about the rape of africa is like,,,,, WHERE IS THE SELF AWARENESS you are NOT making it look like britain understands that colonialism was bad actually

xvi feb mmxxiv

it pisses me the fuck off that authors of colour often have to do multiple things to even make enough money to survive (running their own presses, teaching, second jobs) while mediocre shit white authors are given millions to write the lowest common denominator of fiction that indie authors do 10 times better, 10 times faster. and i know these authors of colour DO like the work they do, but it's SO DEEPLY UNFAIR that they don't get to sit back and write knowing full well they their books will continue to get royalties or their advances can support them for the next few years--it means they often write less = making less money = being less prolific than their white counterparts like fucking sjm, jay kristoff, or alex aster while producing FAR BETTER WORK (and this isn't even an argument, many authors of colour just produce better work because they ACTUALLY THINK about what and how they're writing). god i hate white wrtiters sometimes...

xvi feb mmxxiv

blurry photograph of a house number reading 69
i think the class before my [REDACTED] class is a japanese language one

#images

x feb mmxxiv

"we never gave up kings, we just named them different things"
FIRE ASS LINE, like, what was my brain COOKING with this one???!?!?

ii feb mmxxiv

this novel writing class is getting on my ~NERVES~ ffs i signed up to write a novel not jump through hoops with this visual outline and sketchbook bullshit. so annoying...

xxi jan mmxxiv

fucking white people bouncing basketballs in elevators,,, so annyoing

ixx jan mmxxiv

beef is so fucking anxiety inducing and the most second hand embarrassment i've felt in a while, but it's so GOOD. i am enthralled rn

xiv jan mmxxiv

i watched the first episode of the award winning the bear yesterday, and while it was on my list before, i'm probably taking it off now… it just… wasn't as good as i thought it would be. i really didn't like it, it was confusing, and the characters were a little annoying (and not in the charming way)

ix jan mmxxiv

i'm such a boring queer. i try not to let it bother me but it sucks i'll probably never experience queer joy

v jan mmxxiv

hot take but don't start a webcomic if you aren't going to finish it. what's the point of indefinite hiatuses anyway? just say you don't want continue the comic and spare everyone the disappointment of waiting years only for you to never return to it. so annoying… (yes, this is a hiveworks rant)

v jan mmxxiv

i hate hate HATE feeling cold, wet things on my upper body when i'm dry, especially when doing my hair

iii jan mmxxiv

ouagh i think i ate some bad beef >_< my stomach keeps gurgling + i'm practically stuck on the toilet

i jan mmxxiv

just learned our house is now in an hoa. i can't believe this, i never thought this would ever happen ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

2023